It’s here. It’s all-nighters, it’s textbooks, it’s blood, sweat, and tears.
It’s realizing that there are a lot more people in your anatomy lecture than you ever guessed.
It’s wondering where everyone staking out at the library has been all semester, and wishing they understood that the quiet floor means you can’t run your stupid mouth or listen to your headphones at a volume so loud the poor blogger in the carrel next to you is going to lose her hearing. (Seriously, though, I think I have the hearing of my grandpa now.)
Ladies and gentlemen, it’s finals.
I’m going to be honest, exams are the exact reason that I haven’t been posting. On two separate occasions this week, I got three hours of sleep. Three.
On the bright side, I don’t have to carry around a purse anymore, because the bags under my eyes have plenty of room.
Still, I think it’s about time I make a quality listicle about how awful final exams are, seeing as I do have a college tab on my menu. It’s finals from the point of view of someone that has a 100% attendance rate in most of her classes, and spends a lot of time in the library. In other words, not the students that don’t go to class all semester and then realize that they’re not going to pass in a panic.
Here goes a good half hour of sleep.
- You manage to convince yourself that it’s totally possible to run on eight hours of sleep over the span of four days.
- Your professors have a secret, underground meeting and decide to make you take a bunch of tests the week right before finals, and that last little bit of sanity you preserved all semester long vanishes.
- I’ve always thought that one of the worst things about fall finals are the holidays that come after it. And most of the time, I’m so focused on my exams that I forget that Christmas exists.
Now it’s sneaking up on me and I haven’t bought a single gift. With the exception of a vanilla latte. Which was, for the record, a present from me to myself.
- You abandon your blog for like a month.
I’m very sorry about that. But this psych major has grad school to think about, unfortunately. And grad school is like the hypercritical, overbearing parent you never wanted, but still have to impress. - You eat your feelings. Donuts, anyone? No? Good, I ate them all.
- The onslaught of existential crises. Look, I told myself I wasn’t going to mention this one. But I have a complete inability to write a listicle without at least questioning my own existence for a brief paragraph. But like, what is the point of it all? If meaning doesn’t exist, then why the hell am I drinking my third cup of coffee and crying over my classes?
- You’re fairly certain it’s impossible to overdose on coffee, but you google it just in case. You know, to double check if it’s normal to have a heart rate of 1,000,000,000 beats per second. And why is your arm shaking a little? And is your eye twitching? Does anybody else notice your eye twitching?
- There are way too many people in the library. You’ve been camping out here all semester, and have no desire to hear everyone’s annoying voices or see their dumb faces. Go do whatever it is you’ve been doing all semester and leave my favorite carrel alone.
- You do 99% of the work for your final group projects. Whenever I think my life is a mess, I can rest assured that it’s a little more pulled together than the people in my group. How have they managed to avoid flunking out?
- Even though finals are hell, you have nice, long winter break to look forward to. So quit reading my blog and get to work, fellow college students! Your future self will thank you..
But what about you? Have finals eaten away at your sanity? Are you in college? Or are you a functioning adult that’s already graduated and laughs at my pain? Like and comment to let me know. If you blinked while reading this article, then follow my blog. Or don’t. I’m not your mom or whatever.
...Or whatever 