I learned in class the other day that resumes can have entire sections for awards.  Mine is blank.  I never really get awards.  I’m pretty sure I’ve been passed up for participation trophies.  Other people seem to be constantly rewarded for, you know, existing.  Anyways, I’m a little disappointed at this under recognition.  I can think of plenty of awards I’m worthy of.  So I decided to hold an awards ceremony for myself.


The Anyone That Follows you on Spotify is Judging you Award:

Goes to: AnnaTheCoffeeAddict

Description: Discovering a new album and listening to it constantly for weeks on end.

Bill Nye Rocks Out

The Using way too Many Gifs Award:

Goes to: AnnaTheCoffeeAddict

Description: Wait, have you even seen my blog?  Do I need to explain this obsession to you?  Oh, shoot, there I go again.

what is wrong with you gif

The  Taking Way, Way Too Long to Tell a Pointless Story Award:

Goes to: AnnaTheCoffeeAddict

Description: I knew I had to nominate myself when I did this really funny thing where, I, like, well, I think this was last week?  No, no, two weeks ago.  Or was it three?  Anyways, I guess it doesn’t really matter, but actually, now that I, you know, think about it, it was definitely a month ago.  But I was drinking a latte and trying to tell someone a story and it took way, way too long.  You know?  It was as if 90% of the words I was saying didn’t even matter.  And anyways, I was drinking this latte, I think it was vanilla flavored, or maybe white chocolate, and I took a lot of time to tell this stupid story.  I don’t even think I remember what the story was about. But yeah, that’s why I was nominated or whatever.  So anyways…

silly house.gif

The Knows the Answer but Doesn’t Raise her Hand in Lecture for Some Reason Award:

Goes to: AnnaTheCoffeeAddict

Description: Why is the professor even asking this question?  I thought it was practically common knowledge.  Wow, I bet if I raise my hand and answer it, I will get brownie points in my professor’s heart.  But if this is such an easy answer, why is no one else raising their hand?  What if it’s a trap?

Oh, damn.  It wasn’t a trap and I was right.


The Gets Way too Absorbed in her Book and Doesn’t Notice her Surroundings to a Concerning Point Award:

Goes to: AnnaTheCoffeeAddict

Description: Sometimes I read a book and then fail to notice things happening around me.  Like the professor starting class.


The Overthinks Everything and Has an Existential Crisis Award:

Goes to: AnnaTheCoffeeAddict

Description: I was just taking a shower and then I started to wonder if maybe everything I’ve ever believed is wrong.  I mean, just think about it!  Formal dress wear in an alternative reality could be leggings and a baggy sweatshirt.  Why isn’t it here?


The Swears She’s Going to go to Bed Early and then Never Actually Does Award:

Goes to: AnnaTheCoffeeAddict

For:  I was in my pajamas.  I was halfway to my bed.  But then I just kind of, got distracted, you know?  On the bright side I read a really great novel in one sitting last night.


And there you go!  I deserve to win each and every one of these awards.  But what about you?  Are you my competition?  Do you deserve awards no one’s given you?  Comment down below and let me know.  Oh, and if you follow my blog, you are an automatic recipient of the Anna’s Entire Heart Award.

Peace out or whatever.

4 thoughts on “I’m Such a Winner! Awards I’ve Won!

    1. No problem! I can afford to spare an award or two, since I’m now so very recognized. Which, I guess, seems important, even though one day our universe will disappear and wipe out every trace of our existence and nothing will matter. Maybe we seek out awards to invent that feeling, to bring purpose to our little lives in this giant vacuum we call space and time.
      Or whatever.


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