It is a truth universally acknowledged that everyone has a friend who is trashing their own life.

If you don’t, well, bad news.

You are the friend.

I think that in life, generally, we come across loads of different people and befriend a portion of the ones we can tolerate.  Some of them are neat, tidy perfectionists with realistic life goals and a clear path to achieve them.  Some of them stumble a little, but eventually end up bumbling down a good path.  And others…

Others never pull it together.  It’s a sad, harsh reality.  I’m at a point in my life where my friends are all either in college, like me, or working somewhere.  Others…well, they may not be doing either of those things.

It sort of reminds me of baby sea turtles crawling their way into the ocean.  Some make it to adult turtlehood.  Some are tasty treats for other marine life.

baby sea turtles; actual footage of my friends


Regardless, watching your less fortunate friends is hard.  Most of the time, they’re not bad people, or people that aren’t willing to work hard.  In my experience, it’s usually the result of a bad situation or poor guidance, and they can’t seem to work themselves out of it.

And since we care about those friends, and they’re still really good friends and loveable people, it’s hard to watch.  It’s almost like an episode of The X-Factor.  All you can do is cringe and hope the contestants make it out alive.

I have this tendency to be controlling.  I want to grab the reins to my friend’s life and say, “You can have it back when you get the decision making under control.”  But you can’t just do that.  You can’t make decisions for somebody else.  You can’t spend all of your time worrying about someone else’s life, because you can’t control it.  At the end of the day, all you can do is be there for them.

I mean, not that I should control anyone’s life.

They would just spend all their money on coffee, anyways.

But what about you?  Do you have a friend that’s trashing their life?  No?  Then maybe you need to pull it together.  Comment down below and let me know.  Or whatever.  I don’t control your life.


4 thoughts on “That One Friend

  1. I used to feel the urge to lend advice or press people to do things differently. But I’ve learnt there’s really no point. Everyone is different, and while my approach to life may seem ideal to me, others may not see it that way. I end up frustrating myself, wondering ‘am I the only sane person in this world?!?’. So over the years, Ive decided to sit back and just act as the listener and observer. It helps with the zen 🙂 I offer advice only when someone genuinely asks for it, or it is a matter of extreme intervention (most often it is not)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve pretty much learned the same lesson. And you’re totally right; the path I think is important is not necessarily the only path. And I am way less stressed when I only worry about me and my coffee addiction. 🙂


  2. A Jane Austen fan, eh?

    That’s okay. I’ll still be your friend. And I’ll try not to grab the reins of your life and yell “You’ve GOT to make better decisions on the books you read!” They’re SOOO boring!

    I totally agree with what Somerset Maugham said about Jane Austen:

    “Nothing very much happens in her books and yet, when you come to the bottom of a page, you eagerly turn it to learn what will happen next.  Nothing very much does and again you eagerly turn the page. The novelist who has the power to achieve this has the most precious gift a novelist can possess.”

    Oh, wait. That’s right. I like reading her books, too!

    (Just PLEASE don’t tell anyone!)

    Oh, and by the way, I feel like there was a time when I was that bad friend, but eventually I grew out of it. In the end, I think I’ve turned out okay. So don’t give up on them. They just might turn it around yet!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yep, I haven’t given up completely. To my knowledge, none of my friends have been eaten by sharks. And I’ll keep your Jane Austen habit a secret. (The quote is dead on, though. It’s kind of scary.) Happy reading and cheers to friends of all kinds!

      Liked by 1 person

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