I’m leaving for vacation tomorrow, so I should be packing right now.  Instead, I’m going to blog about my lunch again.  And I’m going to give you a fabulous recipe, so buckle up.

Here is how you make a good ass smoothie.

You will need:

  1. Frozen fruit of your own damn choice
  2. Vanilla Almond milk
  3. A ripe banana
  4. And that’s it.

First, put a cup of vanilla almond milk into your blender.  (Or your neighbor’s, I don’t care.)  Second, peel a banana and throw it in there. (Kobe!)  Take a handful of frozen fruit of your own choice (I usually purchase the no-sugar added ones), and then put the cap on your blender or perhaps your neightbor’s, and blend it all together.  If your blender is unable to fully mix in all the fruit, then add more almond milk until it does.  Blend to your liking.  If you’re a hipster wanna-be like myself, pour it into a mason jar and enjoy your healthy-ass smoothie.


Note: I imagine this recipe would work with regular milk as well, but the vanilla almond milk makes it sweet.  I’ve tried it with soy milk, and it tasted a bit too soy-esque for my liking, but go ahead if you so wish.

Second Note: You do not have to be a card-carrying vegan to purchase almond milk for this recipe.  My father and brother, who eat meat and drink milk on the regular, drank every last drop of this smoothie.  They freaking adore it, and agree that the vanilla almond milk gives it a nice damn touch.

Third damn note: I have spent way too much of my precious time searching the internet for good dairy-free smoothie recipes, and I assure you that most people make this too freaking difficult.  You do not freaking need 100 ingredients to get a smoothly blended serving of fruit.  This is it.

Peace out or whatever.  *mic drop*

2 thoughts on “Easy Ass Smoothie Recipe

    1. No problem! As for the language, well, it’s mostly a product of my loud Irish-Italian family. (You have no clue how much I held back. My writing is much more eloquent than my real-life speech.) Thanks for the read!

      Liked by 2 people

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